Auditions: Australian Idol 4 - Audition Show One - August 6

Submitted by djwright on Sun, 2006-08-06 18:56
Whey hey hey, yes, it's that time of year again, Big Brother has ended and we've celebrated the win of whatshisname and moarned the loss of whatsherface and have possibly started to miss the lovely host gretel whatsherdressdoingonthatuglybody.

We've also just witnessed the premier of Australia's Brainiest Loser, a show designed to remind us of the names of the competitors from the first series of the reality show that made us fall in love with some of Australia's fattest people. Surprise surprise the winner of the show, who was a couple tic tacs short of a packet of tic tacs (if you know what I mean) didn't make it past round one! The show's failed in it's job as I'm still less aware of the competitors names, but seeing that many fat people on "reality tv" has reminded me to ask "What happened to Casey Donovan?"

And that'd be a seemless lead up to what I'm just about to write about... for tonight we get to see the first audition show for Australian Idol 4!!!

Tell us what you think about the show here... don't hold anything back!

Tonight's show starts with two words "the dream" then we are treated to a score of music with a pile of memories from Idol's gone by, Guy, Casey, Kate...

Andy and James introduce themselves and the show from Ayers Rock in the NT, Andy's looking like a member of Hanson who's just hit puberty and James has his stare working as well as it was back in 2005. A lot of the next few minutes are flashbacks and the names of the cities that the team toured to for auditions, even Broken Hill. One of the changes this year seems to be that people auditioning could bring in their guitars and other instruments if they had one, which is a bit of a change...

The judges sound like theyve been really impressed by the auditions, and we get to see a few of the people who seem to have made it through, including some chicks with a few "whey hey hey" factors (yes, I mean breasts) and men with some dodgy hair cuts but with good guitar skills. Marcia is looking at this year to be full of fabulous voices and Mark's still his good ol wanky self...

Andy and James are talking and talking and talking and talking....

And talking...

And talking even more about past years and hinting at some of the changes for this year...

But Kyle's still a bit of a wanker...

And James and Andy are still talking, this time about some of the bad acts that they had to put up with, but they assure us that they have the best vocals that the country has to offer...

And this is where the first advert break for AI4 began, and not too soon I might add, I need to go to the toilet and boil me a coffee...

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I'm hoping that someone's currently telling Andy and James that we're not watching this show to hear their ugly mugs talking, but instead are expecting to hear people sing (for more than 1 second)...

The first audition is in Melbourne, a fair crowd arrived to register and audition on a cold Melbourne day, the judges were apprehensive. The first audition is Christopher (?) who tried singing "The Prayer"... well, he just tried singing... he failed... let's just leave it there, I'm crying.

Casey Gardner from Melbourne was the next up in the auditions, Kyle had a go at her for being boring before she even started, yes, he's a boring small penised wanker and is not afraid to show it. That being said Casey's vocals were shocking and I am beginning to wonder if she's just punctured one of the speakers in my television. Kyle tortured the poor girl after her performance asking her if she thinks that she's good or not.... he then spent the next 3 minutes on tv insulting people.

Just when it seemed that Melbourne had nothing to offer the show for the year, and I do mean NOTHING TO SHOW other than the ability to increase the sales of panadol and other pain killers for the next week. Robbie Rees, a primary school teacher arrived at the auditions to sing, Kyle seemed to be nice to him, but it became quite obvious why the dude teaches primary school students and not Pavarotti. I hate the Idol editors, they brought our hopes up and allowed them to crash in a pittiful pile of poo.

Advert 2...

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Back in Melbourne we start the ride through hell with Jason Kee, guess I shouldnt be too surprised that the editors wanted to show is the crap performances instead of the one's that go through. Jack Maalouf was next on stage, it seems that he's like a squeegie singer, he goes all around Melbourne singing thinking that everyone loves him, I could see that this was gonna crash and burn before he opened his mouth, but the editors still felt the need to torture me, oh how I wish they'd die a horrible death... and when they do I'm gonna get Jack and Jason to do a duet at their funeral!!!

Did I say how much I want them to die?

Mark Holden was pretty dissapointed by the auditions, running out on them for a while.

Something i wouldn't mind doing at the moment... walking out...

Johnathon Winkler, Joel Minuzzo, Jason Allen, Brent Leslie, Dean Geyer all sung originals, some sounded good, others didn't (poor poor Brent), Dean seemed to impress the judges, so much that Mark's finally stoked. Dean is the first person heading to Sydney...

Advert Break...

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Oh crap, this show goes for one and a half hours...

I'm only going to write up anything that is worth my effort, so far Melbourne's not offering me anything...

And even though a number of beautiful and sexy women just were shown on screen there were no names or phone numbers... so dissapointing... perhaps we could have an Idol Auditions Uncut for the good looking femaile strippers to come and "audition live" for us

Racheal Butler from Broken Hill played a great Waifs number to the Judges, making it through to the next round even though Mark wasn't sure if she'd sell any albums, Kyle being the nice guy who put her through...

Korey Livy from Albury sang a country tune to the judges impressing both Mark and Marcia and Kyle, lets face it Korey's not the image, but he's made it through to the next round, especially after singing his original on the guitar. Guess we have a Counrty Idol contestant...

Advert Break

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Still in Melbourne the hooror show continues, I'm not writing anything until I feel it's worth writing up, this is like a badly written soap opera.

Nathaniel Willeimse seems to be the first audition to write up for the last 5 minutes, his vocals weren't perfect, but his looks and sound could quite well mean that we see a lot more from him. Kyle, Marcia and Mark all put him through to the next round and Marcia told him to show his eyes...

Advert...

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The Final Day in Melbourne included auditions from Hobart, this year providing a number of talented people, James Steele, a 2 time Idol auditioner came up and sang an Eagles song for the judges and seemed to impress them with his voice and control, he made it through to the next round, even though his shirt was awful. Some other girls made it through too, although most of them remain nameless. Melanie Whitty, a mother of two from Melbourne sang for the judges, she ended up being interupted twice before she was able to get out a song, she finally begged in front of the judges for their confidence, in the end Marcia said yes and Mark was sucked in too saying yes.

Finally Ricky Muscat, the final audition for 2006 stood up and sang Shy for the judges, his vocals were actually very good and he's got a look that could be described as a tall, much taller Anthony Callea, so he's got a good look. All three Judges sent him through

Somehow 30 singers from Melbourne and Tasmania and Broken Hill made it through to the Sydney tryouts, I must say it's a pity that we didn't get to see many of them and instead focussed on the mutant love children of John Howard and Britney Spears for the show...

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After leaving Melbourne the Idol crew headed to Alice Springs in the search for new talent, which as the Judges arrived were sitting in the shade relaxed and cool, (as cool as one could be in 40 degree heat). Lauren Jade Harrap came from a station to audition, Kyle was pretty rude and she didnt made it through. It seems that the theme for the auditions was going to be country, which doesn't seem to impress Kyle. Julie Donmez came to audition for the first time, Kyle was a bit of a toss stopping her mid song and surprise, surprise she didn't make it.

Jordan Vandershuit a 16 year old from the NT came out looking a little out of place in a beanie and parachute pants, and sang "Everything Burns" by Anastasia and Ben Moodyhis vocals were surprisingly great, making it through with all three Judges giving him a yes.

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Back in the NT Tashka Urban sings her heart out with her keyboard (she sounded nice but pitchy), although Kyle was seeing how many people in the NT he could make cry being a bit of a tonk as per normal... But that being said there were a few crappy auditions until Jessica Mauboy, 16 from Darwin wandered up to the stage and sang a Whitney tune causing Mark to say it was a tough call, her vocals however were by far better than what we heard in Melbourne and, in the middle of nothing would have been interesting to have heard. She made it through with 3 yes'... I'm going to cry.

Well, that's it from tonight, who did you like, who did you hate, who will be watcing tomorrow night's show in Perth and Adelaide?

I'll be hiding the sharp knives and razor blades before I do another live gig...

People Through This Round to the top 24... (Melbourne, Alice Springs, Hobart)



Anyone notice that on our list of top 24 there are no Adelaidians?

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